Is this the “secret” to a successful business?

Do you ever click on those headlines that promise,

“This one thing is responsible for everything good that happens, ever, to anyone.”

I do!

It’s like they reach right into my lizard brain and take over my keyboard fingers

Sienna J. Brown had one on an Instagram reel the other morning, and her answer was not to care what other people think.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot, and I do think it’s important. (With some guard rails — because there are some very trashy people out there who take this as their whole personality.)

But it’s what she said next that made me sit up straight:

“[the not caring what people think part] … that’s what will allow you to have the clarity, the consistency, and the confidence to show up for your vision and your values.”

– Sienna J. Brown

Those 3 C’s — clarity, consistency, and confidence — are the factors that are the most likely to hold you back.

Being me, I had to switch the wording around a little … and also to add one.

So here’s my take on the four success factors that make the most difference when we’re tackling ambitious projects:

The first “secret”: Specificity

(This is where “clarity” took me.)

This is about getting incredibly specific about what you want, who you serve, how you do that, and what all the details are going to look like.

This is incredibly hard for creative people, because we’re usually on Team And.

In other words, we want to do everything. (Preferably everywhere and all at once.)

But if you’re selling something, your buyer is in “Or” mode.

• Will they spend their time and budget on this product, or on that other one?
• Should they pick approach A or approach Z?
• Should they do something now, or put it off and wait for later?

Getting specific takes work. It’s hard. Sometimes it’s so hard that we put it off for months … or years.

It can also be scary.

Because when you’re specific and clear, there’s nowhere to hide. You said what you said.

Speaking of scary …

The second: Swagger

(The artist formerly known as confidence.)

If you’re Canadian, British, or Scandinavian, feel free to swap this out for “self worth,” since swagger may feel too high a mountain to climb.

Wherever you are on the swagger scale, you have to know that you’re good enough to do the work and do it well.

As we’ve all seen, a lot of times, the least capable people often show the most visible confidence. They don’t seem to ever question themselves, which means they tend to scoop up a lot of the opportunities.

And too many excellent people get stuck in second-guessing and imposter experience.

That can start to create problems with:

The third: Showing the F*¢k Up

(Consistency enters the chat.)

You may be clear and specific about what you have to offer. You might even be completely confident in your own worth and value.

If you can’t or don’t show up, that message never gets to the right people.

And yes, I said “can’t.”

Because showing up consistently isn’t a moral virtue — it’s a byproduct of solid systems that some people have access to and some don’t.

Which brings me to the fourth S — the one that I don’t think enough coach-types talk about in an honest way:

And we round it out with: Spoons

Spoon theory is a way of talking about emotional and physical energy, recognizing that none of us has an infinite amount of it.

Spoon theory is particularly relevant to folks with chronic illness, neuro difference, or other things that make it inconvenient to deal with Normie World.

Without a huge staff — and that would include staff to manage your huge staff — your energy for tasks (especially the emotionally challenging kind) is limited.

You can have all the passion and all the “big Why” in the world.

That won’t magically give you enough spoons to show up every day on social media and your content channel(s) and do client work and maintain basic human relationships and maybe get a shower today.

Traditional self-help (and way too many “business coaches”) talk about a lack of spoons like it’s a lack of virtue.

“If you wanted it badly enough you’d just do it!”

– Toxic biz advice people 🤢

And also:

Just because you resent and reject that kind of imperialist bullshit doesn’t mean you don’t want to do stuff.

You’re allowed to be ambitious. You’re allowed to want to make a good living.

You just are.

All four of these need to be managed

You may have noticed that if any of these is out of whack, your whole project goes sideways.

If you aren’t specific enough, your buyers don’t understand how you help solve their problems.

If you can’t summon a little swagger (or self worth!), your buyer will wonder how they can trust you when you don’t seem to trust yourself.

If you don’t show up consistently, it’s really hard to make yourself heard in all the clutter and noise.

And if you don’t manage your spoons carefully, it’s too easy to spend them all on what feels comfortable. Which might not be what’s going to truly help you.

(If spoons are a major issue for you, of course, connect with a mental health professional if you can. But also, allow me to suggest that you make your tasks and projects smaller. Sometimes we need to move forward taking smaller steps, and that’s completely valid.)

This is the part of privilege we can do something about

We all know that privilege pays an outsized part in success.

These four S’s alone can’t get you access to capital, or membership in some expensive private club where big deals are made.

But all four are things that privileged folks grow up learning and practicing. And we can learn and practice them, too.

When I saw Sienna Brown’s post on Instagram, her words jumped out at me because I see them every day — in my own business, and for my clients and students.

If your business needs help with one or more of these, I may be able to lend a hand. Boogie over to the Work with Sonia tab, or find me on LinkedIn. (You can also always reply to any email I send you.)

However you tackle your own personal four, don’t forget to keep it fierce. 🔥

---

Image by Joel Muniz via Unsplash